************************************************************************************
THE MEANING OF RESCUE
Judith H. Archer
Now that I'm home bathed, settled and fed,
All nicely tucked in my warm new bed.
I'd like to open my baggage
Lest I forget there is so much to carry
So much to regret.
Hmm... yes, there it is, right on the top
Let's unpack loneliness, heartache and loss,
And there by my perch hides fear and shame.
As I look on these things I tried so hard to leave.
I still have to unpack my baggage called pain.
I loved them, the others, the ones who left me
But I wasn’t good enough - for they didn’t want me.
Will you add to my baggage?
Will you help me unpack?
Or will you just look at my things
And take me right back?
Do you have the time to help me unpack?
To put away my baggage,
To never unpack?
I pray that you do - I'm so tired you see,
But I do come with baggage
Will you still want me?
THE MEANING OF RESCUE
Judith H. Archer
Now that I'm home bathed, settled and fed,
All nicely tucked in my warm new bed.
I'd like to open my baggage
Lest I forget there is so much to carry
So much to regret.
Hmm... yes, there it is, right on the top
Let's unpack loneliness, heartache and loss,
And there by my perch hides fear and shame.
As I look on these things I tried so hard to leave.
I still have to unpack my baggage called pain.
I loved them, the others, the ones who left me
But I wasn’t good enough - for they didn’t want me.
Will you add to my baggage?
Will you help me unpack?
Or will you just look at my things
And take me right back?
Do you have the time to help me unpack?
To put away my baggage,
To never unpack?
I pray that you do - I'm so tired you see,
But I do come with baggage
Will you still want me?
************************************************************************************
A CHEAP BIRD'S PLEA
by Joyce Glass
What is it that my life is worth
How much will you pay
To what extent would you go
If I get ill today?
I know I'm not an expensive bird
My cost is fairly cheap
But what is the price you put on life
For something that you keep?
My wings still spread out the same
My heart still has a beat
So why is it that my cousins
Are the ones you hold so sweet?
I cannot help that I was born
Without a golden egg
Will you still take care of me
Or make me plead and beg?
I rely on you to help me
As I can't do it for myself
Will you take the steps needed
Or just put me on the shelf?
So when you walk by me
Please look me in the eye
If it would come down to it
Would I live or die?
A CHEAP BIRD'S PLEA
by Joyce Glass
What is it that my life is worth
How much will you pay
To what extent would you go
If I get ill today?
I know I'm not an expensive bird
My cost is fairly cheap
But what is the price you put on life
For something that you keep?
My wings still spread out the same
My heart still has a beat
So why is it that my cousins
Are the ones you hold so sweet?
I cannot help that I was born
Without a golden egg
Will you still take care of me
Or make me plead and beg?
I rely on you to help me
As I can't do it for myself
Will you take the steps needed
Or just put me on the shelf?
So when you walk by me
Please look me in the eye
If it would come down to it
Would I live or die?
A PARROTS PRAYER
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the wild caught parrots so savagely netted and swept
away from their families while their babies dumped into burlap
sacks cried out in terror.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the exotic birds that witnessed the destruction of all the blessed
trees and fled fires in fear from man's thirst to dominate, stripping the
land of all its inhabitants, leaving nothing but bare ground behind.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the parrots that struggled through the capture, but died merciless
in transport from the stress of overcrowded, barbaric, confinements and
inconceivable horror.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the survivors that made it into captivity but exist in a nightmare
of confinement unable to use their God given wings of flight as they
once remembered.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the baby birds bred in captivity whose crop's burned or have
died needlessly from harshness of human hands.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all captive birds that have been erased from their owner's
consciousness and are abandoned to a lifeless existence with only a
distant memory of what is was like to hear a gentle voice from someone
that used to care.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all those helpless creatures who don't know what it's like to live
life as a bird or even to feel the breeze or sunlight but are doomed to
darkness in closets or garages, trapped inside covered cages or shackled.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the macaws, cockatoos, amazons, and conures that are
stripped of their vocal cords for screaming; their sensitive beaks cut
back to prevent biting.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all birds that end up for sale in pet shops or breeders like used
merchandise, unwanted and frightened in strange surroundings with
nothing more than the familiar sight of bars on a cage.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the neglected birds that are sick with infections from
filthy conditions and malnourishment that may never recover and
know what it is like to feel healthy and be playful.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the misconceived parrots who were beaten, stabbed,
blinded and burned for just being a parrot.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For every african grey, cockatoo and macaw that punishes itself
from confinement and boredom by maiming their bodies and
plucking their feathers and for those who have lost all spirit of life
and sway their head low from side to side slowly into insanity.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
WE ASK HUMBLY OF YOU, DEAR LORD TO LOOK
UPON ALL OF YOUR MAGNIFICENT FEATHERED
CREATIONS PROTECT THEM FROM EVIL AND HARM
CAUSED BY MAN AND TO BRING FORTH AN AWAKENING
IN THE HUMAN HEART AND MAKE IT A KINDER,
GENTLER WORLD FOR ALL CAPTIVE BIRDS............AMEN
Sally Brooks, July 3, 20000
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the wild caught parrots so savagely netted and swept
away from their families while their babies dumped into burlap
sacks cried out in terror.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the exotic birds that witnessed the destruction of all the blessed
trees and fled fires in fear from man's thirst to dominate, stripping the
land of all its inhabitants, leaving nothing but bare ground behind.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the parrots that struggled through the capture, but died merciless
in transport from the stress of overcrowded, barbaric, confinements and
inconceivable horror.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the survivors that made it into captivity but exist in a nightmare
of confinement unable to use their God given wings of flight as they
once remembered.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the baby birds bred in captivity whose crop's burned or have
died needlessly from harshness of human hands.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all captive birds that have been erased from their owner's
consciousness and are abandoned to a lifeless existence with only a
distant memory of what is was like to hear a gentle voice from someone
that used to care.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all those helpless creatures who don't know what it's like to live
life as a bird or even to feel the breeze or sunlight but are doomed to
darkness in closets or garages, trapped inside covered cages or shackled.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the macaws, cockatoos, amazons, and conures that are
stripped of their vocal cords for screaming; their sensitive beaks cut
back to prevent biting.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all birds that end up for sale in pet shops or breeders like used
merchandise, unwanted and frightened in strange surroundings with
nothing more than the familiar sight of bars on a cage.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the neglected birds that are sick with infections from
filthy conditions and malnourishment that may never recover and
know what it is like to feel healthy and be playful.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For all the misconceived parrots who were beaten, stabbed,
blinded and burned for just being a parrot.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
For every african grey, cockatoo and macaw that punishes itself
from confinement and boredom by maiming their bodies and
plucking their feathers and for those who have lost all spirit of life
and sway their head low from side to side slowly into insanity.
LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER..........................
WE ASK HUMBLY OF YOU, DEAR LORD TO LOOK
UPON ALL OF YOUR MAGNIFICENT FEATHERED
CREATIONS PROTECT THEM FROM EVIL AND HARM
CAUSED BY MAN AND TO BRING FORTH AN AWAKENING
IN THE HUMAN HEART AND MAKE IT A KINDER,
GENTLER WORLD FOR ALL CAPTIVE BIRDS............AMEN
Sally Brooks, July 3, 20000
**************************************************************************************
THE CREATION STORY (as told by a bird)
**************************************************************************************
TOP 10 BIRD RULES
jane hallander
1. IF YOU LIKE IT, IT'S MINE.
2. IF I CAN REACH IT, IT'S MINE.
3. IF IT'S IN MY BEAK, IT'S MINE.
4. IF I CAN TAKE IT FROM YOU IT'S MINE.
5. IF I HAD IT A LITTLE WHILE AGO, IT'S MINE.
6. IF IT'S MINE, IT MUST NEVER APPEAR TO BE YOURS IN ANY WAY
7. IF I AM CHEWING SOMETHING ALL THE PIECES ARE MINE.
8. IF IT LOOKS LIKE MINE IT'S MINE
9. IF I SAW IT FIRST IT'S MIE.
10. IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING AND YOU PUT IT DOWN, IT AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES MINE.
**************************************************************************************
FOOD BOWL ETIQUETTE
from the pet bird report list
Author Unknown
The Foot Strainer
Place one foot on the side of the food bowl, using the other foot as a utensil. Grab a footfull of food and lift. Smaller seeds and pieces of food will fall to the floor, making a funny noise. Eat the one or two pieces which remain in the foot. Repeat until the bowl is empty.
The Dainty Selector
Approach the fresh dish of food. Daintily select pieces of food and gently drop to the floor of the cage until only a few desired pieces of food remain in the bowl. Proceed to eat. When done, call for more food.
The Dieter
One at a time, hold each piece of fruit, veggie or pasta in the foot. Take one bite and drop the remainder on the floor. This ensures that there will be room for treats and other delicacies later.
The Dried Fruit Gourmet
Choose pieces of dried fruit. Carefully place them in the water bowl. Return later, after they have plumped up. Then remove from the bowl, taste and drop on the floor.
The Shoveler
Approach a full dish of food. Bury the beak in the bowl and with a quick snap of the neck, sweep the food sideways out of the dish. Use short quick strokes to cover most of the cage bottom with pretty patterns of food. If feeling energetic, shovel harder to decorate the walls and floor outside of the cage. This method helps convince the pet owner that a different kind of food is preferred.
The 20 foot Fling
Dip the foot in a food dish and grab a large footfull of goodies. Close the foot into a ball around the items, raise the foot and throw as far as possible. This technique not only gets to the walls and floors, but reaches much of the furniture as well.
The Grate Houdini
From time to time drop morsels of favorite foods on the cage floor. Let them remain there while they age to the proper potency. When ready, climb down to the cage floor and sample the delicacies. Many pet owners have placed grates in the bottom of the cage. To thwart this maneuver, just stretch a leg through the grate to get at the prize. Most birds have legs long enough to reach the tray below the grate. If the owner changes the cage papers daily, begin dropping pieces of food just after the change so that the food has at least a few hours to ripen.
The Butter or Sauce Scraper
This maneuver is to foil the human who coats a piece of undesirable food with butter, sauce or something else that birds really love. Just hold the piece of food in the foot and use the beak to skim off the good tasting part, leaving the unwanted portion untouched.
Pack a Lunch
Tuck seeds, pellets or other choice items among the feathers and under the wings. It messes up the human's measurements of how much is eaten and puzzles them when they give you a shower.
*************************************
WATER SPORTS
The Artist
For birds with an artistic flair and a good sense of color. Break off a piece of dyed wood from a favorite toy and place in the water dish. From time to time, return to the dish and mix. When the water has turned a satisfactory color, call for the pet owner to admire the creation and replace the water. Begin a new artistic work.
The Dunker
Carefully select a choice piece of food from the food dish. Items like pellets, cheerios or birdie bread are best. Dip in the water bowl until thoroughly soaked. Sample the moist delicacy and decide that it doesn't taste as good as expected. Leave the item in the water bowl and start complaining about the messy water.
The Water Bottle Trick
For those birds lucky enough to have a water bottle. Select the proper size seed and wedge it into the water bottle tip. This keeps the water bottle mechanism open and creates a nice waterfall effect. Experienced birds can also use the beak or a toe to achieve the same effect.
EATING AT THE DINNER TABLE
The Plate Stomp
Explore the various foods available on the table, before making a selection. Just approach each bowl or plate and walk through it, making sure to pass through each item on the plate. Foods with sauces and dressings are especially great. They stick to the feet and allow the flavors to mix with other food items. The messy feet also discourage the pet owner from picking a bird up from the table.
The Shoulder Trick
Select a piece of food which has a sauce (such as pasta) or a juicy item (such as a piece of tomato). Holding the food in the beak, as fast as possible climb up the arm of a human to the shoulder. Proceed to eat the messy food, dropping sauce or juice on the human's clothes. When done, drop the remainder and wipe the beak on a still clean portion of the item of clothing. A true expert bird can perfect the 'Squeegee Trick'. Hold a piece of pasta with sauce in the foot and bite off the end. Pull the pasta through the foot to get another bit, while at the same time forcing the sauce to come off on the foot. Place this foot on the human's shoulder when it has become sufficiently covered with sauce. Climb down the arm to get another piece of food.
The Floor Caper
After selecting items from a dinner plate, take a few bites and fling the remainder to the floor. To throw the food further, fling the food from a human's shoulder. If the human becomes annoyed, placate it by offering it a bit of the food or saying something cute and looking innocent.
Eat to Get a Hug
Grab all the garlic you can find - garlic bread, salad dressing, etc. Then give the human a kiss. The human will give you hugs and scratches - anything to avoid getting another odorous, garlic breathe kiss. Also effective is the 'Pepper Kiss'. A kiss after eating hot red peppers or jalapenos will definitely get a human's attention.
THE CREATION STORY (as told by a bird)
- On the first day of creation, God created the bird.
- On the second day, God created man to serve the bird.
- On the third day, God created all the plants of the earth (especially the sunflower) to serve as potential food for the bird.
- On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labour for the good of the bird.
- On the fifth day, God created the toy so that the bird might or might not destroy it.
- On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the bird healthy and the man broke.
- On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to feed, clean, and amuse the bird.
**************************************************************************************
TOP 10 BIRD RULES
jane hallander
1. IF YOU LIKE IT, IT'S MINE.
2. IF I CAN REACH IT, IT'S MINE.
3. IF IT'S IN MY BEAK, IT'S MINE.
4. IF I CAN TAKE IT FROM YOU IT'S MINE.
5. IF I HAD IT A LITTLE WHILE AGO, IT'S MINE.
6. IF IT'S MINE, IT MUST NEVER APPEAR TO BE YOURS IN ANY WAY
7. IF I AM CHEWING SOMETHING ALL THE PIECES ARE MINE.
8. IF IT LOOKS LIKE MINE IT'S MINE
9. IF I SAW IT FIRST IT'S MIE.
10. IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING AND YOU PUT IT DOWN, IT AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES MINE.
**************************************************************************************
FOOD BOWL ETIQUETTE
from the pet bird report list
Author Unknown
The Foot Strainer
Place one foot on the side of the food bowl, using the other foot as a utensil. Grab a footfull of food and lift. Smaller seeds and pieces of food will fall to the floor, making a funny noise. Eat the one or two pieces which remain in the foot. Repeat until the bowl is empty.
The Dainty Selector
Approach the fresh dish of food. Daintily select pieces of food and gently drop to the floor of the cage until only a few desired pieces of food remain in the bowl. Proceed to eat. When done, call for more food.
The Dieter
One at a time, hold each piece of fruit, veggie or pasta in the foot. Take one bite and drop the remainder on the floor. This ensures that there will be room for treats and other delicacies later.
The Dried Fruit Gourmet
Choose pieces of dried fruit. Carefully place them in the water bowl. Return later, after they have plumped up. Then remove from the bowl, taste and drop on the floor.
The Shoveler
Approach a full dish of food. Bury the beak in the bowl and with a quick snap of the neck, sweep the food sideways out of the dish. Use short quick strokes to cover most of the cage bottom with pretty patterns of food. If feeling energetic, shovel harder to decorate the walls and floor outside of the cage. This method helps convince the pet owner that a different kind of food is preferred.
The 20 foot Fling
Dip the foot in a food dish and grab a large footfull of goodies. Close the foot into a ball around the items, raise the foot and throw as far as possible. This technique not only gets to the walls and floors, but reaches much of the furniture as well.
The Grate Houdini
From time to time drop morsels of favorite foods on the cage floor. Let them remain there while they age to the proper potency. When ready, climb down to the cage floor and sample the delicacies. Many pet owners have placed grates in the bottom of the cage. To thwart this maneuver, just stretch a leg through the grate to get at the prize. Most birds have legs long enough to reach the tray below the grate. If the owner changes the cage papers daily, begin dropping pieces of food just after the change so that the food has at least a few hours to ripen.
The Butter or Sauce Scraper
This maneuver is to foil the human who coats a piece of undesirable food with butter, sauce or something else that birds really love. Just hold the piece of food in the foot and use the beak to skim off the good tasting part, leaving the unwanted portion untouched.
Pack a Lunch
Tuck seeds, pellets or other choice items among the feathers and under the wings. It messes up the human's measurements of how much is eaten and puzzles them when they give you a shower.
*************************************
WATER SPORTS
The Artist
For birds with an artistic flair and a good sense of color. Break off a piece of dyed wood from a favorite toy and place in the water dish. From time to time, return to the dish and mix. When the water has turned a satisfactory color, call for the pet owner to admire the creation and replace the water. Begin a new artistic work.
The Dunker
Carefully select a choice piece of food from the food dish. Items like pellets, cheerios or birdie bread are best. Dip in the water bowl until thoroughly soaked. Sample the moist delicacy and decide that it doesn't taste as good as expected. Leave the item in the water bowl and start complaining about the messy water.
The Water Bottle Trick
For those birds lucky enough to have a water bottle. Select the proper size seed and wedge it into the water bottle tip. This keeps the water bottle mechanism open and creates a nice waterfall effect. Experienced birds can also use the beak or a toe to achieve the same effect.
EATING AT THE DINNER TABLE
The Plate Stomp
Explore the various foods available on the table, before making a selection. Just approach each bowl or plate and walk through it, making sure to pass through each item on the plate. Foods with sauces and dressings are especially great. They stick to the feet and allow the flavors to mix with other food items. The messy feet also discourage the pet owner from picking a bird up from the table.
The Shoulder Trick
Select a piece of food which has a sauce (such as pasta) or a juicy item (such as a piece of tomato). Holding the food in the beak, as fast as possible climb up the arm of a human to the shoulder. Proceed to eat the messy food, dropping sauce or juice on the human's clothes. When done, drop the remainder and wipe the beak on a still clean portion of the item of clothing. A true expert bird can perfect the 'Squeegee Trick'. Hold a piece of pasta with sauce in the foot and bite off the end. Pull the pasta through the foot to get another bit, while at the same time forcing the sauce to come off on the foot. Place this foot on the human's shoulder when it has become sufficiently covered with sauce. Climb down the arm to get another piece of food.
The Floor Caper
After selecting items from a dinner plate, take a few bites and fling the remainder to the floor. To throw the food further, fling the food from a human's shoulder. If the human becomes annoyed, placate it by offering it a bit of the food or saying something cute and looking innocent.
Eat to Get a Hug
Grab all the garlic you can find - garlic bread, salad dressing, etc. Then give the human a kiss. The human will give you hugs and scratches - anything to avoid getting another odorous, garlic breathe kiss. Also effective is the 'Pepper Kiss'. A kiss after eating hot red peppers or jalapenos will definitely get a human's attention.
************************************************************************************
HOW TO STUFF YOUR PARROT ON THANKSGIVING
Ingredients:
1 Turkey
Corn Pudding
Green Beans
Stuffing
Sweet Potatoes
Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Cranberry Sauce
Hot rolls
Relish tray
Pumpkin Pie
Whipped Cream
Hot Coffee
Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee. It's going to be a long day so place your Parrot on a perch nearby to keep you company while you prepare the meal.
Remove Parrot from kitchen counter back to perch. Prepare stuffing, remove Parrot from edge of stuffing bowl. Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, remove Parrot from edge of pan. Have another cup of coffee to steady your nerves. Remove Parrot's head from turkey cavity and re-stuff voided area. Prepare relish tray, remember to make twice as much so that you'll have a regular size serving after the Parrot has eaten his fill.
Remove Parrot from kitchen counter. Prepare cranberry sauce, discard berries accidentally flung to the floor. Peel potatoes, remove Parrot from edge of potato bowl. Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown sugar & mini marshmallows, remove Parrot from edge of pan & replace missing marshmallows.
Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, clean up the torn filter and old coffee grounds from around the pot. Pry coffee bean from Parrot beak. Have another cup of coffee & remove Parrot from kitchen counter.
When time to serve the meal: Place roasted turkey on a large platter, cover beak marks with strategically placed sprigs of parsley. Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl, rewhip at last minute to conceal bite marks and talon prints. Place pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard, forget presentation as there's no way to hide the areas of missing marshmallow. Put rolls in decorative basket, remove Parrot from side of basket along with beaked rolls, serve what's left. Set a stick of butter out on the counter to soften - think better and return it to the refrigerator. Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato talon tracks.
Remove Parrot from kitchen counter & carve the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream off Parrot's beak & place large dollops of remaining cream on pie slices. Whole slices are then served to guests, beaked-out portions should be reserved for host & hostess.
Place Parrot inside cage & lock the door.
Sit down to a nice relaxing dinner with your family - accompanied by plaintive cries of "WANT DINNER!" from the other room.
************************************************************************************
A BIRD BREEDER'S CHRISTMAS
By Gayle Soucek
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flights,
Not a bird was stirring since I turned off the lights.
Clean dishes were stacked by the freezer with care,
So in the morning they would be filled with fresh healthy fare.
The babies were handfed, the pet birds out to play
Everyone was settled- I was done for the day.When down from the basement there arose such a clatter
That I ran for the stairs to see what was the matter
I raced down the steps and turned on the light
Glancing first to my left and then to my right
It was then that I noticed the now empty spot
In the cage where the Cockatoos should be but were not!
"The Goffins are missing" I yelled to my spouse
While I shuddered to think what they'd do to the house
My fears were well founded, I soon came to know
As I surveyed the destruction in the bird room below.
Feeding doors had been opened, the dishes all tossed
Bags were ripped open their contents all lost.
The marauders unfastened from the cage tops each toy.
Which they tossed at the occupants below with such joy.
The other birds sulked as they viewed the whole mess.
This Cockatoo Duo had created such stress!
I searched through the room, my frustration profound
Those two fiendish beasts simply weren't to be found!
It was then that I noticed the Senegal staring
As his eyes flashed with anger I saw he was glaring
Towards the side of the room at an overturned pail
I followed his gaze and saw a flash of white tail
Holding my breath I approached with great care
Was it possible both could be hiding in there?
I snatched up the bucket and the villains were exposed
They knew they were busted and for a second they froze.
Then with a Cockatoo shriek and scrambling of feet
They raced for their cage in hasty retreat
I slammed the door shut as I trembled with rage
"Don't you two ever, ever come out of your cage!"
They stared at me smugly cheeks puffed with contentment
Their mission accomplished they ignored my resentment
"I'll clean up tomorrow," I said aloud with a sigh
As I walked toward the steps one 'Too said "bye-bye."
As I turned with a grin I felt suddenly calm
Their sweet little voices could act as a balm
For along with their mischief, they brought love and fun
It was hard to stay angry despite what they'd done.
My jangled nerves and life's hectic pace
Had made me forget what was in my face
I didn't need gifts, fancy stuff from the store
I had all I needed, my birds and much more!
My dear friends and family, my health and my spouse
Everything that mattered was right here in this house
So Santa I thank you but I don't need a lot
I'm learning to be grateful for all that I've got.
If you come down my chimney to bring something new
Just leave me some padlocks so I can lock up the 'Toos!!
**********************************************************************************
DO YOU LIKE TO DO PUZZLES? HERE ARE A COUPLE OF LINKS FOR ONLINE PARROT PUZZLES......
http://www.jigzone.com/gallery/Birds
http://www.onlinejigsawpuzzles.net/animals_11_parrot.htm
HOW TO STUFF YOUR PARROT ON THANKSGIVING
Ingredients:
1 Turkey
Corn Pudding
Green Beans
Stuffing
Sweet Potatoes
Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Cranberry Sauce
Hot rolls
Relish tray
Pumpkin Pie
Whipped Cream
Hot Coffee
Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee. It's going to be a long day so place your Parrot on a perch nearby to keep you company while you prepare the meal.
Remove Parrot from kitchen counter back to perch. Prepare stuffing, remove Parrot from edge of stuffing bowl. Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, remove Parrot from edge of pan. Have another cup of coffee to steady your nerves. Remove Parrot's head from turkey cavity and re-stuff voided area. Prepare relish tray, remember to make twice as much so that you'll have a regular size serving after the Parrot has eaten his fill.
Remove Parrot from kitchen counter. Prepare cranberry sauce, discard berries accidentally flung to the floor. Peel potatoes, remove Parrot from edge of potato bowl. Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown sugar & mini marshmallows, remove Parrot from edge of pan & replace missing marshmallows.
Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, clean up the torn filter and old coffee grounds from around the pot. Pry coffee bean from Parrot beak. Have another cup of coffee & remove Parrot from kitchen counter.
When time to serve the meal: Place roasted turkey on a large platter, cover beak marks with strategically placed sprigs of parsley. Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl, rewhip at last minute to conceal bite marks and talon prints. Place pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard, forget presentation as there's no way to hide the areas of missing marshmallow. Put rolls in decorative basket, remove Parrot from side of basket along with beaked rolls, serve what's left. Set a stick of butter out on the counter to soften - think better and return it to the refrigerator. Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato talon tracks.
Remove Parrot from kitchen counter & carve the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream off Parrot's beak & place large dollops of remaining cream on pie slices. Whole slices are then served to guests, beaked-out portions should be reserved for host & hostess.
Place Parrot inside cage & lock the door.
Sit down to a nice relaxing dinner with your family - accompanied by plaintive cries of "WANT DINNER!" from the other room.
************************************************************************************
A BIRD BREEDER'S CHRISTMAS
By Gayle Soucek
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flights,
Not a bird was stirring since I turned off the lights.
Clean dishes were stacked by the freezer with care,
So in the morning they would be filled with fresh healthy fare.
The babies were handfed, the pet birds out to play
Everyone was settled- I was done for the day.When down from the basement there arose such a clatter
That I ran for the stairs to see what was the matter
I raced down the steps and turned on the light
Glancing first to my left and then to my right
It was then that I noticed the now empty spot
In the cage where the Cockatoos should be but were not!
"The Goffins are missing" I yelled to my spouse
While I shuddered to think what they'd do to the house
My fears were well founded, I soon came to know
As I surveyed the destruction in the bird room below.
Feeding doors had been opened, the dishes all tossed
Bags were ripped open their contents all lost.
The marauders unfastened from the cage tops each toy.
Which they tossed at the occupants below with such joy.
The other birds sulked as they viewed the whole mess.
This Cockatoo Duo had created such stress!
I searched through the room, my frustration profound
Those two fiendish beasts simply weren't to be found!
It was then that I noticed the Senegal staring
As his eyes flashed with anger I saw he was glaring
Towards the side of the room at an overturned pail
I followed his gaze and saw a flash of white tail
Holding my breath I approached with great care
Was it possible both could be hiding in there?
I snatched up the bucket and the villains were exposed
They knew they were busted and for a second they froze.
Then with a Cockatoo shriek and scrambling of feet
They raced for their cage in hasty retreat
I slammed the door shut as I trembled with rage
"Don't you two ever, ever come out of your cage!"
They stared at me smugly cheeks puffed with contentment
Their mission accomplished they ignored my resentment
"I'll clean up tomorrow," I said aloud with a sigh
As I walked toward the steps one 'Too said "bye-bye."
As I turned with a grin I felt suddenly calm
Their sweet little voices could act as a balm
For along with their mischief, they brought love and fun
It was hard to stay angry despite what they'd done.
My jangled nerves and life's hectic pace
Had made me forget what was in my face
I didn't need gifts, fancy stuff from the store
I had all I needed, my birds and much more!
My dear friends and family, my health and my spouse
Everything that mattered was right here in this house
So Santa I thank you but I don't need a lot
I'm learning to be grateful for all that I've got.
If you come down my chimney to bring something new
Just leave me some padlocks so I can lock up the 'Toos!!
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DO YOU LIKE TO DO PUZZLES? HERE ARE A COUPLE OF LINKS FOR ONLINE PARROT PUZZLES......
http://www.jigzone.com/gallery/Birds
http://www.onlinejigsawpuzzles.net/animals_11_parrot.htm